Starship:Behind the Scenes
by FlittingGemini
Summary: It's pretty messed up, but some could think of it as funny. I hope you do. Rating subject to change.


**Disclaimer: I'm not sure what to tell you, I just came up with this. I am a weird human being and own nothing you recognize.**

Lauren walked through the halls of the theater on Halstead thinking about her lines for the upcoming show as well as all the preperations they still had to do for the show. Good thing she wasn't in charge of directing, she didn't envy the person with that job. Between praying that Joey wouldn't get trapped by a monster blizzard in or out of town, being behind on making the scenery and to top it all off there was a guy from MTV coming by this afternoon to do an interview! Was it any wonder most of them were going crazy? Suddenly she was bumped into by Walker who was rushing past with June off to do Wizard God knows what right against one of the back walls of the theater by a door.

She was about to turn around and yell at him but suddenly stopped when she heard a giggle through a closed door nearby. She crept closer to the door and heard a voice say, "Oh Darren are you sure you want to do this?"

Lauren's eyes widened, that was Denise! What on earth was going on? She didn't have time to contemplate though because another voice started to speak so she put her ear to the door to listen more closely.

"Aww c'mon man, they don't let me do stuff like this on the Glee set. It's been forever." Darren whined.

Now she was getting really confused but jus as she pressed her ear closer Dylan snuck up behind her startling her. "Hey Lauren! What are you doing?" He asked loudly. She clapped her hand over his mouth and quickly hissed. "Keep quiet! I'm not sure what they're doing in there but I'm trying to find out!"

Now Dylan's curiosity was piqued and he too put his ear to the door just in time to hear Denise say, "Ok but I just don't want to take advantage of you since your so busy helping us with the music."

"Not at all! I love doing this. Aren't you happy doing it too?" He asked. Denise giggled which the two of them supposed was an affirmative but by now they were both shocked and tried to press their ears closer until Jamie and Julia suddenly materialized behind them.

"What are you guys doing?" Julia said in a medium-volumed voice that nearly scared both of them out of their skin.

"Quiet! Darren and Denise are about to do something!" Dylan barked. The both of them put their ears back on the door and Julia and Jamie joined them.

"Denise it's so tense here. Have you been stressing? Here let me help you get that out a bit." he said.

She giggled, "Darren that's my shirt your tickling me."

"Not so loud, everytime we do this you distract Joey, How is this?" he asked.

"Oh that's perfect, yes. Do it like that." Denise said. "But you don't have quick enough hands like Joey does."

At this all their eyes widened in shock and they almost fell backwards from the door but quickly regained their balance so they could press even closer to the door just in time for Darren to say.

"Joey's hands are quick," Darren agreed. "Let's call him over here. Hey Joey come and help us!"

The four of them could hear the sound of walking and had to repress both the desire to giggle and utter shock. A Threesome?

"Should we really let this continue?" Julia said in a somewhat guilty tone. "I mean there's so much to do-"

"C'mon Julia this is hilarious and we can hold this over them forever!" Jamie whispered delighted. Before she could respond to that the three behind the door started chatting again and they all put their ears on the door in time for Darren to say "Hey Joey come over here and help us, we need your help with those quick hands of yours."

"Already ahead of you bud, I got the blouse undone." Joey said.

"Give me your shirt Darren, and you too Joey. I'll be waiting for you by the table." Denise said.

There was some clunking on what the four of them assumed was said table and some more giggling from Denise. "I told you Joey has quick hands, he works so fine. In and out, in and out."

"See that's where your wrong Denise, Joey's quick hands couldn't get this," interupped Darren.

All four of them were now partly wrestling to get the best spot by the door to hear when suddenly a voice behind them said, "What the devil is going on here?" so loudly that Lauren fell backwards and the rest of them jumped in the air. With their hands on their thundering hearts they turned to see Meredith and Joes Walker and Moses standing nearby with amused expressions on their faces from the surprise of the others.

"Joe! You asshole!" screeched Jamie before Lauren clapped her hand over her mouth and the other three pressed their ears to the door to check if they heard them but all they heard was some clunking and whispering so they guessed that they hadn't heard them.

"What are you guys listening too?" Walker asked. He pressed his ear to the door in time for Darren to say, "The button for Joey's pants are jammed. I can't get it loose."

"Oh don't worry, just use some brute force to tear it off, we'll fix it later." she said behind the door.

All seven of their jaws dropped at the same time.

Walker managaed to lift his jaw and tried to stutter out, "Wh-what are they?-" "Shh." everyone hissed and they all squished against the door. This was starting to get really crowded and uncomfortable Dylan thought, he refused to think awkward because this whole situation was awkward from the start.

"Come on Joey, in and out, go faster. You have quick hands but your not very good with this." Denise said.

"I wouldn't be talking Denise, in case you hadn't noticed I'm doing all the work." Joey replied.

Outside, all the guys were now shaking with supressed laughter and the girls were blushing. "I don't think even the raunchiest stand-up comic would touch this situaion." Meredith whispered.

"When..haha, did this happen? What..." Joe Moses couldn't even finish his sentence he was so embarassed and giggly.

"Hey guys what are you doing? The guy from MTV is here!" Brian declared from behind. All of them jumped, though thankfully no one fell backwards this time. However this time there was the unfortunate circumstance of all of them being red-faced either from laughter or embarassment or some combination thereof. So not only did they look weird to the MTV people, but also Brian, Jim and Brant looked confused. Suddenly there was more giggling from behind the door.

"What's going on?" Jim asked.

All the girls were too embarassed to say anything but Dylan whispered, "I think Joey, Darren and Denise are having a threesome, or somethin."

"They've been going at it for the last 10 minutes!" Walker quipped excitedly.

"Oh Darren, be gentle will you?" Denise mewed from behind the door.

The interviewer's eyes widened, "Darren Criss having a threesome? Forget the musical, MTV will give you guys a full TV series for this! Emillio get that camera going!"

"No wait! they're our friends! They'll be humiliated!" Lauren whined and Joe Moses, Dylan and Jamie were the first in trying to fight off the camera guy from getting in but it was too late he burst into the room and all of them who were pressed against the door fell in with everyone landing on top after them.

Everyone looked up into the room, the people from MTV with a camera ready expecting to see fully naked people, instead they were fully clothed. Darren and Denise had sewing needles in their hands and Joey was at a sewing machine. All around them were Starship Ranger costumes, half-finished Bug-puppets and black jackets and pants.

"You guys were sewing!" Everyone exclaimed.

The three of them looked blankly at the entire group. "Of course, what did you think we were doing?" Darren asked.


End file.
